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The Greatest Movie Quotes

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PHOTOS THAT CAN EASILY BE MADE FUN OF
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The Greatest Movie Quotes

HAPPY GILMORE

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Golf's no different from hockey.  It requires talent and self-discipline.  Happy: Golf requires goofy pants and a fat ass.  You should talk to my neighbor the accountant, probably a great golfer; huge ass.

Happy: "Send 'em home.  Just send 'em home.  Time to go home there ball.  Son of a bitch ball.  Why didn't you just go home?!  That's your home.  Are you too good for your home?  Answer me!"

Shooter McGavin ..."Just stay out of my way. You'll pay. Listen to what I say."
Happy Gilmore ... "How about I go eat some hay? I can make things out of clay and lay by the bay. I just may. What do ya say?"

Christopher McDonald as Shooter McGavin ... "You're in big trouble, lil pal - I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast!" 
Happy Gilmore ... "You eat pieces of shit for breakfast??" 
Shooter McGavin ... "NO"

Grandma: Sir, can I trouble you for a warm glass of milk? It helps me go to sleep.
Ben Stiller: You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up! Now, you will go to sleep or I will put you to sleep. You're in my world now, grandma.

Kevin Nealon character: "Yeah, lotta pressure, you gotta rise above it.  You gotta harness in the good energy, block out the bad.  Harness.. energy.  Block.. bad.  Feel the flow, Happy.

SPACEBALLS

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Dark Helmet: Now you see that evil will always triumph...because good is dumb.

Dark Helmet ... "How many assholes we got on this ship anyhow?"
Crew: "YO!"
Dark Helmet ... "I knew it. I'm surrounded my assholes! Keep firing assholes!"

Dark Helmet: Out of Order?! Fuck! Even in the future, nothing works!

Yogurt: Who dares enter the sacred and awesome presence of the everlasting know-it-all?!

Dark Helmet: I always have coffee when I watch radar, you know that!
Colonel Sandurz: Of course I do, sir!
Dark Helmet: Everybody knows that!
Spaceball Troopers: Of course we do, sir!

Princess Vespa: Yogurt the wise!
Dot Matrix: Yogurt the all-powerful!
Barf: Yogurt the magnificent!
Yogurt: Please, please, don't make a fuss. I'm just plain yogurt

Dark Helmet: What the hell am I looking at? When does this happen in the movie?
Colonel Sandurz: You're looking at now, sir. Everything that happens now is happening now.
Dark Helmet: What happened to then?
Colonel Sandurz: We passed then.
Dark Helmet: When?
Colonel Sandurz: Just now. We're at now now.
Dark Helmet: Go back to then.
Colonel Sandurz: When?
Dark Helmet: Now!
Colonel Sandurz: Now?
Dark Helmet: Now!
Colonel Sandurz: I can't.
Dark Helmet: Why?
Colonel Sandurz: We missed it.
Dark Helmet: When?
Colonel Sandurz: Just now.
Dark Helmet: When will then be now?
Colonel Sandurz: Soon.
Dark Helmet: How soon?

Colonel Sanders: Prepare ship for lightspeed!
Dark Helmet: No, no, no! Lightspeed's too slow!
Colonel Sanders: Lightspeed too slow?
Dark Helmet: Yes. We're going to have to go right to.......Ludicrous speed! (everyone gasps)
Colonel Sanders: Ludicrous speed? Sir, we've never gone that fast before...I don't know if the ship can take it!
Dark Helmet: What's the matter, Colonel Sanders? Chickennn?!

MEN IN BLACK

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Jay:

When do I get my own flashy-little-memory-messer-upper-thing?

Kay:

When you grow up.

Jay:

 You know what the difference is between you and me? I make this look good.

Jay:

So, you just flash that thing, it erases her memory, and you just make up a new one?

Kay:

Standard issue neuralyzer.

Jay:

And, that weak-ass story is the best you can come-up with?

Jay:

When was the last time you had a CAT scan?

Kay:

About six months ago, it's company policy.

Jay:

Right, you should make another appointment.

Jay:

Unlimited technology from the whole universe, and we cruse around in a Ford P.O.S.

Trainee: We're here because we're the best of the best of the best Sir!
Jay: This guy obviously has no idea why we're here. He's sayin we're the best of the best of the best... With honors! Captain America over here, doesn't know why the hell we're here. He's all excited. Sorry I found that rather funny, but y'all ain't laughin.

Jay:

How many times have you flashy-thinged that poor woman?

Kay:

 Couple.

Jay:

So, what, you not worried about no long-term damage?

Kay:

Little.

Jay:

Hey, Kay, have you ever flashy-thinged me?

Kay:

No.

Jay:

I ain't playing with you Kay. Have you ever flashy-thinged me?

Kay:

No.